Start your day off with a slice or two of toast smothered with Vegemite. Mmmm VegemiteSick. Wash it down with a cuppa Earl Grey – or some water. And then drink the tea.
Dress head-to-toe in green and yellow. Yeah, sure, the colors of the Australian flag are red and blue, but green and yellow are the official national colors (what’s the deal with that anyways!?!). Draping yourself in the Aussie flag is also an option. Wear thongs (flip flops).
Change your screensaver to a photo of koalas or kangaroos or the Opera House.
Watch a few episode of Summer Heights High.
Rock out to any/all of the following: Kylie, John Butler, Triple J, AC/DC, Bee Gees.
Be sure to sing Men at Work’s Down Under, all day long.
When greeting people ask, “How ya goin?” Every time. No exceptions.
And for that matter, use as much Aussie slag as possible:
No worries mate – it’s okay
Ta – thanks
Such a bogan – uneducated hick
Heaps – a lot
It cains – hurts like a mother…
Hooner – total douche-bag
I love your jumper – nice sweater
I’m off my trolly – so wasted right now
And you should be. Off your trolly that is.
Host a barbie. I mean a huge, multi-grill, enough-meat-to-stop-hunger-in-ethiopia, barbecue. Eat as much of said meat as possible and cover everything in sauce (ketchup).
Stuff your face with Tim Tams, freddos and Pavlova cake.
Dance the night away to house beats. Or, go to a concert, drink a few more Bundy & Cokes and appreciate the fact that your drunken slurs are staring to sound like a proper accent. Try not to munt (throw up).
Happy Australia Day!
*Some photos contributed by Alison Ramey, Sue Sweeney and Dominic Flannery
